A little bit of everything, and a whole lot of something

So everyone I fully take notice that it has been way to long since the last time i blogged and i am  very sorry! Life has been a little more crazy then i had hoped so i am hoping to just let my fingers go and write you all a very random blog about everything that you have missed since i have last written to you . 


I wanted to start this blog to pay a tribute to Mrs. Botting.. She passed yesterday and i want to talk about her for a little while. If you live in my town the town of Bracebridge you know Mrs. Botting. She was my first and third grade teacher and she changed my life and many others. She wasn't an average teacher she took pride in her students and treated them like they were her own children. She loved us and taught us nothing less than to shoot for our dreams. She has still been in my life and has watched me grow up while being in public school and still to this day we would keep in contact. She is a big part of why I am here in Africa because as a kid i always had insane ideas about life and she never laughed but always listened and told me my ideas were beautiful. I remember at a grade 5 science fair i made a tooth brush dryer. I know cool! and every kid laughed at me saying i was silly. I was so upset and crying and Mrs. Botting took me aside and told me my idea was wonderful and she would pay big amounts of money to buy it! She always encouraged us and she continued to encourage me while being here in Africa. 
One thing she loved was my blogs. She was always reading them and encouraging me to keep doing what I am doing and to keep writing about my experiences and to keep bringing life to those kids and since that i couldn't help but think she deserves to be appreciated. Although I never really got to tell her how much she meant to me and how much i loved her and how she changed my life and my way of thinking at such a young age. That lady taught me to read. Someone like her i will never ever forget. 
I am graduated and as i go on she will always be my favorite teacher because she taught me what a book can't. She was a beautiful lady and she changed lives. She encouraged others and always brought smiles everywhere she went. The memories of her will forever ring through my mind and although i wish i could have been able to say goodbye i know that it was all in Gods plan, and its not that she died . The point is that she lived. And she was wonderful and she impacted my life in a way most people couldn't .. she was an angel. My personal gift from God and i wish her family and close friends and anyone who knew how amazing she was like i did i wish you peace and happiness that she lived and that she touched so many and she left this world happy. I know she loved me, and i wish i told her more often i loved her as well but im glad i had a women like her in my life, i was lucky. So i pray everyone remembers her and remembers to pray for her family every time you think of it because i know loosing her is a great  loss... needless to say I love you Mrs. Botting and I miss you, and i thank you for everything you did in my life and in so many others, i will never forget you, no one could forget someone who had a personal skittle machine :):) Rest in peace.. <3  




Since paying my respects to one of the most wonderful people in my life i guess we should move on to the current and the not so sad going on in my life!
So what have you missed !! so since i have blogged i went back to the big city of Kampala for our big monthly meeting with all the volunteers, it was really good and was really nice to see everyone again! While being there we found out our next placement and i found out i would be STAYING IN GULU wich is such an amazing gift from God because i prayed and prayed i would get to stay in Gulu and look where i am! Also an answer to prayer is that my roommate from before in gulu was also sent back to gulu with me along with a friend from the other village that we both had prayed all month that we would be put in the same placement and we did ! so god is wonderful and he really does answer prayers even the small ones we think are silly! so i am super excited and now living in gulu is a dream ! 
So i stayed in kampala after my roommates went back because i was going on Safari with four other girls ! turned out to me such an amazing time and such a bonding experience with God!! we saw so many amazing animals and we saw beautiful sunsets and sunrises along the river nile and saw murchison falls. It really brought me closer to God because i got to see the beauty of the earth and in the animals , when you think of Africa you think of poor children and mud huts but there is so much beauty in this country so it made me see to really thank god for everything he does, it is beautiful the world truly is amazing. 
So after safari i was stuck in kampala for another week waiting for them to find me a ride back to Gulu so it was very frustrating cause i really just wanted to go home to Gulu, but it was good because we had five new girls come so i got to spend some time with them and take them around and show them africa, and the church .. Also my ultimate favorite little boy who is five was in kampala for a doctors check up same time i was there ( he is from gulu) so i got to be with him while he was in kampala and also i got to take him to church with me so it was still really nice. I loved his face when we arrived at church he was so shocked looking around at everything and he was clapping and dancing and worshiping at church it was amazing, the innocence of a child is beautiful , its inspiring. 
So i am finally back in Gulu only to find out that my group of babies i work with everyday were moved up to the toddlers section, and i love my babies but 55 toddlers, vrs one volunteer and 1 nanny please someone pinch me.. So i am brave and yesterday i did it i took on the toddlers. i made it through 7- bout 12pm without having a breakdown, then i took lunch break and re gathered myself and i was able to make it through the rest of the day.. They are all wonderful just so many of them can really be a headache.. but we ended up on lunch break being able to talk to the management and have a meeting and discuss if there was anything we would like to change so we expressed that we would like to make a schedule for the toddlers and make a designated reading and color and painting and singing and bible times instead of eat sleep and play all day in and day out. So she was all on board with the idea and she gave us there eating schedule and said if you can make some kind of a schedule into this then we will buy the equipment to do these things and you will be in charge. so between the three of us volunteers we are brain storming and coming up with something we are super excited about it ! i think the toddlers really need this it will be good for there development like kinder garten ! so we are excited gods good cause we have prayed about this and expressed this to other managers and they never took notice they just said thanks for your opinion so that they finally listened is an answer to prayer !! 
so today was my day off and i wasn't up to doing much because i am still dealing with the death of mrs. botting and my roommates told me i need to turn this to god or i wont get through and thats something i always hear and i know but i was just having a really hard time because all i wanted to do was cry. 
But then i finally got out of bed and the power went out. my lap top died within 5 minutes of me being on it, my i pod died within five minutes of me listening to it.. and then i knew.. i knew i charged all those things before so this is God. He is telling me in a aggressive way smarten up, its time to focus and give your sorrows to me. So i started to pray and i lost it, i just balled and i prayed to god and i begged him to help me, so i started to read my bible and pray and i was coming across so many verses that were helping me and they were everything i needed to hear.. So i also spent some time reading my book forgotten god and also in that there was so much it was like god perfectly planned everything i needed to read, so i spent some time praying and god really spoke to me today so i started to write notes so i wont forget everything he taught me today, but this all really showed me that things happen and they suck .. i have lost people before like loosing that baby and i learnt a lot from that death and it was almost like my faith and the belief i had through christines death was being tested now, and i had to stand up in that test. I was sad and i was asking why because people who impact your life so much are not supposed to die, its not fair.. and i felt a lot of guilt and regret from our relationship but today i learned it all i learned that i can't question and i looked back at my past blog and reminded myself everything i knew before.. but one thing i really learned was things get rough and its natural for us to want to try to fix them ourselves and then look to god later when we think about it. But really we are nothing without god. we will get no were without him, and we will forever be stuck in that problem it will never properly go away unless we hand it to god. and i really needed to see that cause it felt like all i could do was sit and cry but all i needed to do was sit and cry out to god. In bad things its so hard to remember but we need to drop to our knees in that moment and beg god to help us get through it or else we wont. 
I will never understand why i am being faced with death and being tested so much with how to deal with it while i am here, but i can understand that god wrote the plan, its not my plan its his.. so although i dont understand that doesn't matter.. we weren't made to understand everything God does or everything he is going to do because if we did there would be no point in life.. some things are meant to be un- known and those things hopefully will toss you into the arms of god in remembering his love for you.. One day in heaven all our burning questions will be answered. And i pray that mrs. botting was saved and maybe my blogs spoke to her, and i will see her again, but i will never know till that day comes.. and while im still here on this earth i need to remember that i am alive for  a reason.. God doesn't keep us all on this earth cause we are cute, he has a purpose so if i sit in my room and be sad about the lost i will never fufil gods plan for me.. So im Sad about the death i have been faced with and im human and it hurts .. it hurts  a lot but i am turning it to god every time it burns in my heart i take a second to pray cause i wont get out of this without his love and mercy behind me.










PS.... most exciting random news is that my favorite baby took 6 steps yesterday! im such a proud mommy i counted !! heheh im so excited about it !!! 


but anyway i promise promise i will not wait so long to write another blog, i am sorry for that long delay! so i love you all thanks for your patients and i will write soon! xxxoooo